Report of the 10th National Day of the Dead, April 14th 2002
by Stephanie Wienrich
The sun was just beginning to poke through the clouds and the garden was playing host to a veritable riot of unusual and beautiful biodegradable coffins by the time people began to arrive for the 2002 Day of the Dead at the Natural Death Centre’s HQ in northwest London on Sunday April 14th 2002.
This was the tenth Day of the Dead in the UK, and was marked nationally by a co-ordinated open day at woodland burial sites around the country — some even offering cream teas to entice the curious in to have a look around. And in Wales the Abergavenny Buddhist group and friends celebrated the day with shared poetry and meditation.
In London, the group of visitors of all ages and interests now gathered in the garden arranged themselves amongst the coffins and urns and the blossoming apple tree to be introduced to the Centre’s staff and to the concept of a UK Day of the Dead. The day is somewhat modelled on the Mexican Day of the Dead — an important social ritual to honour one’s ancestors and to celebrate the continuity of life — and in the UK this festive aspect of the day is, we believe, made easier by holding the day in springtime rather than in autumn. At this time of year the teeming new life surrounding us reminds us of the inevitable cycle of life and death; as a biologist could tell you, "where there is not death there is not life".
It was announced that after more than ten very happy years operating from an office in the directors’ home in Cricklewood — which has in the past had the dubious honour of being nicknamed "the Dead Centre of the World" by the British press — the Natural Death Centre would be moving to a new office in Finsbury Park at the end of the month. The Centre’s staff felt that the time had come to move the whole Nicholas Albery Foundation, the Centre’s renamed umbrella charity, to a new venue Nicholas' death the year before. To mark this move, I spoke a little of the history of the Centre: how it was founded in 1991, how it launched the Befriending Network, now an independent charity, in 1994, and how it has consistently and successfully helped to promote woodland burial as the best alternative ‘way to go’ (there are now over 160 such ‘green’ sites up and running in the UK alone). And last but not least, how it has continued to publish and disseminate research in the field of funerals and death education, primarily in the bestselling New Natural Death Handbook, now in its third edition.
'A natural death movement to parallel the natural birth movement'
It was Nicholas Albery’s personal experiences of birth and death which triggered in him a realisation of the need for a natural death movement to parallel the natural birth movement: exercises and rituals to help people to prepare for death and to reduce anxiety, and support for people who wished to die at home. Being the social inventor that he was, Nicholas took it upon himself to kickstart the movement by setting up the Natural Death Centre with the help of his wife, Josefine Speyer, and Christianne Heal, a fellow psychotherapist. Nicholas very sadly died at the age of 52 in a car accident last year. Josefine’s personal experiences of his death and funeral are movingly and inspiringly recounted in the Centre’s latest journal, Progressive Endings, which Nicholas had been working on in the months before his death.
After the introduction, the various coffin, urn and shroud manufacturers, all listed at the end of this report, had a chance to answer questions about their materials and manufacturing processes. Hazel Selina told us how she inadvertently discovered that her ecopod is buoyant when she was posing with one on a rock and a great wave came and flushed it out to sea; Tony Bryan showed us his new design of pine coffin, the Mecca, with an oblong shape for Muslim clients or for those who prefer a non-coffin contour; and William Wainman told us how the Chinese, who manufacture his bamboo coffins, have yet to use the design themselves as they tend to get buried in a crouching position.
After the display, everyone made their way into the Centre’s meeting room for a brief film showing of the launch of the Natural Death Centre in 1991. The film had been lovingly edited by Josefine and filmmaker Minou Norouzi, and we listened intently as Nicholas Albery described how he felt his own last moments might be, and spoke of the aims and hopes — now mostly fulfilled or on their way to being fulfilled — of the directors at the Centre’s birth.
After the video, Retta Bowen, co-editor of Poem for the Day II, introduced us to the poetry recital part of the day — reminding us of Nicholas’ dictum that the only problem with learning a poem a day by heart is finding someone to listen to it. Retta started us off with Tom Paulin’s beautiful poem ‘A Lyric Afterwards’; William Arthurs offered us his own translations of Horace; London poet and supporter of the Poetry Challenge, John Stammers chose Chidiock Tichborne’s ‘Elegy for Himself’, written the day before his execution; Melissa Harman read a number of poems written by her for members of her community who had died; Nick Temple recited Imogen Salt’s poem about Abney Park Cemetery in Stoke Newington; and I attempted to recite by heart a poem of Thomas Hood’s titled, appropriately enough, ‘Death’. In this poem, death is not that "this warm conscious flesh shall perish quite", but is to know
"That pious thoughts, which visit at new graves
In tender pilgrimage, will cease to go
So duly and so oft — and when grass waves
Over the pass'd-away, there may be then
No resurrection in the minds of men."
After a short break, Centre director Josefine Speyer introduced the topic of the afternoon’s first workshop, 'Family-organised Funerals', with the story of her husband, Nicholas’ funeral in the woods, highlights of which were: a bamboo coffin woven with wild flowers and filled with hay, "like a bird’s nest for a very big bird"; a tea party with family and friends; and music and poetry recitals around the hand-dug grave. The group then entered spiritedly into a discussion about other people’s experiences of good and bad funerals — one woman sorely regretted that she had not known of the choices available to her when her husband had died a few years before — and attempted to answer people’s diverse questions with the help of amongst others, local green funeral director Roslyn Cassidy, eco-coffin manufacturer Hazel Selina, journalist and author Kate Berridge, and celebrant Kathryn Edwards.
'She had already bought and hidden her own pine coffin in the attic'
Thom Osborn, filmmaker and friend of the Centre, took charge of the next event, a Video Memorial Message workshop — a unique opportunity to create a message, on video, for those we would one day be leaving behind. Participants were encouraged to think about what they might say as a last message to loved ones: perhaps they would take the opportunity to reiterate their love; set out their funeral wishes; tell a story; let people in on a secret; anything was possible. We had three cameras available for practising in small groups and quite a few brave souls recorded a trial version of their message to show to the whole group. One told us conspiratorially that, unbeknownst to her husband, she had already bought and hidden her own pine coffin in the attic!
After the workshop some of us gathered into a small circle for the memorial tea, lighting candles for and sharing memories of those who had died. This is always the most meditative part of the day, and Josefine helped to create a calm, reflective and supportive atmosphere. There was some sadness of course, but mixed with laughter and heartfelt joy as we listened to each other’s affectionately told stories and memories.
As a surprise but very welcome final event, the last few lingering guests were invited to watch Nicholas Albery’s very own Video Memorial Message, recorded with Thom three years before Nicholas’ sudden death in 2001. It is an at times hilarious, often warm, moving and above all inspiring tribute to the man who founded the Natural Death Centre all those years ago and initiated this most important ritual of a national Day of the Dead. He is as ever fondly remembered and greatly missed.
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Funeral gowns and scented pomanders: designer Yvonne Malik, Lancs. (tel 015242 21767).
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Stanzalon, occasional verse on commission: Melissa Harman (tel 07931 356529; email: melissa@waitrose.com).
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www.GatesofRemembrance.com: Christine Burak, director Global Memories Ltd. (tel 01992 652525).
Please note: The Natural Death Centre is now located at 12a Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT (tel 020 7359 8391; fax 020 7354 3831; email: contact@naturaldeath.org.uk; web: www.naturaldeath.org.uk).
Events in Wales:
Abergavenny (Monmouthshire) Buddhist Group and friends marked the Tenth National Day of the Dead with a day of meditation and poetry. "Before the morning meditation there was an opportunity to light a candle in someone's memory and to speak about the person. Some preferred to write a private message to place by the candle. After a shared lunch there was a chance to share thoughts and feelings on death and dying and to read poetry. The day ended with meditation. This was a day to remember friends and relatives who had died and a day to contemplate our own mortality." For further information please call Helen Mowat on 01873 856065.
For secure online orders of Natural Death Centre books, go to www.globalideasbank.org/site/store
