What is a good funeral?

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What is a Good Funeral?

All of us are different and we will all have our own views about what makes a funeral ‘good'. But at The Natural Death Centre we believe that a ‘good funeral' is one where you - the funeral arranger - feel in control of what happens, and where you are given clear information about the choices available to you.

What choices are there?

There are very many ways to make a funeral very personal and appropriate - too many to list here. But to give you an idea of what is possible, here are some aspects that you might want to think about.

What happens to the body?

Most people believe that someone can only be cremated, or buried in a traditional cemetery. But now, in many parts of the country, it is also possible to be buried in a natural burial ground, where interment occurs in a way that is beneficial to the environment. And some people choose to donate their body to Medical Science - although not all such offers are accepted. Much less common options are burial on your own land or at sea.

What type of funeral ceremony can I have?

Although the traditional religious service is still appropriate for certain people, for many people a funeral ceremony that is far more personal, and less religious, has more meaning. And people tend to feel that the funeral has been a better process where they have the opportunity to be involved in shaping the funeral ceremony, and even participating on the day, if they want.

In what other ways can I make the funeral special?

Practically every aspect of the funeral arrangements provides scope for you to make it personal and fitting. So whether you prefer the traditional black vehicles and a conventional type of coffin, or would rather have something more distinctive, or more environmentally-friendly, all of this is possible. Any good funeral director will be able to provide you with a wide range of options.

How involved can I be?

People are as different in death as they are in life, and a funeral doesn't just have to be an event that you just turn up to - it is something that you can help create. The Natural Death Centre encourages the attitude that every aspect of the process following a death is important, and presents an opportunity for people, including children, to be involved to the extent they wish. And it can be very helpful, after it is all over, for you to be able to think back that you contributed to making the funeral very special.

Do I need professional support?

The vast majority of funerals are carried out with the professional support of funeral directors. Although you aren't legally obliged to use one, most people find reassurance from having guidance from someone who is experienced.

But not all funeral directors are the same and it is important that you find one who will support you to get what you want, rather than one who steers you down the route of settling for what they want to provide.

How do I find a good funeral director?

The Natural Death Centre is a charity that provides impartial advice about funerals and so we do not recommend particular funeral directors. However, we have compiled a list of funeral directors who appear to be very flexible in the way that they work with families. This list can be found in our main publication: ‘The Natural Death Handbook' - and on the funeral directors section of this website.

Is a ‘good funeral' going to be expensive?

Unfortunately all funerals cost a lot of money, and relatively few people qualify for State help with the funeral costs. (Consult your local Jobcentreplus for details.) But just because a funeral is ‘good' doesn't mean it has to cost more - it can even cost less, depending upon the options that you choose.

But most of us want to have a good idea of what things cost before we make our decisions - so finding a funeral director with transparent pricing becomes important.

What if I don't feel up to ‘shopping around' to find a good funeral director?

If, for whatever reason, you decide that none of the funeral directors on our list seems appropriate, you still have the problem of finding one who is. 
When dealing with all the emotions brought on by a loss, possibly the last thing that you want to do is ring round a lot of funeral directors making enquiries. But if you have friends who want to help you, this information gathering task may be something that you can pass on to one of them. They should be able to provide you with information about the flexibility of the funeral directors, their prices, and even whether they sound like competent, and nice, people. Then you can make your decision.